My eulogy and song for Margaret (Harrow) Massalsky

Today we held the funeral for my 2nd generation Scottish grandmother, Margaret ( she went by Peg or Peggy) Massalsky. . I said a few words and sang a brief song that I had written for her years ago after the death of my grandfather, written from the perspective of him waiting for her in the afterlife. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but, I was happy I did it and made it through without melting down. The picture here is her and I at my wedding, 22 ish years ago..What follows is my Eulogy and the lyrics to the song.

(Thanked everyone for coming)

Writing this was tricky
I remember great
I remember good
I remember bad.

No matter who it is, all these apply. They apply to me, to you. All people

We are all born, and we will all die.
If we are lucky, we live a long life.
If we are healthy through our lives, we are blessed
As we are blessed, we are loved throughout it.
If we are smart, or learn to be smart, we try to love, more than we are loved.
If we are successful at this, when our lives end, we are missed

My grandmother, Margaret (Peg) will be missed greatly.

When I reflect on my Grandma Peg, I remember and feel laughter.
When we spoke or spent time together the predominant feeling was of humor,
Sometimes blue and inappropriate.
Many times loud.
Almost always a little profane.
There are certain curse words, which,
relax, I shan’t invoke here,
Joanie and I believe she receives a percentage royalty when they are used.

“They are just words” she used to tell me.
From this I learned that while words are powerful, it is how you act that counts.
I carry this lesson forward to this day with my sons.
Be mindful of what you say, but be more mindful of how you act and how you treat others. As was she, I am imperfect at this.

Peg treated me as her own flesh and blood, but I was not.
Peg loved me unconditionally
Peg was the crazy, wacky, funny grandma to me
Moving forward through life without her
While I won’t hear her cackling, crazy laugh, I can still feel it in our hearts and
I carry the lesson that
You do not have to be blood to be family.

Prayer for Peg story (song)
“Even if you do not believe in the prayer, the prayer believes in you”

Prayer for Peg

High above
Where I am
All the world
Within my vision
I can see
Across the land
And into your heart
I never meant to leave you
Or cause you so much pain
But I guess God never looked in your eyes
So when your end is near
I’ll be waiting here
On the bonnie, bonnie banks
Of Loch Lomon

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